{"id":1415,"date":"2023-08-24T12:08:10","date_gmt":"2023-08-24T12:08:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/magicart-delta.com\/?p=1415"},"modified":"2023-12-15T19:27:55","modified_gmt":"2023-12-15T19:27:55","slug":"%d0%b9%d0%b5%d1%80%d0%b0%d1%80%d1%85%d0%b8%d1%8f%d1%82%d0%b0-%d0%b2-%d1%80%d0%be%d0%b4%d0%b0-%d0%b8-%d0%ba%d0%b0%d0%bf%d0%b0%d0%bd%d1%8a%d1%82-%d0%bd%d0%b0-%d0%bf%d1%80%d0%b8%d1%8f%d1%82%d0%b5%d0%bb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/magicart-delta.com\/en\/2023\/08\/24\/\u0439\u0435\u0440\u0430\u0440\u0445\u0438\u044f\u0442\u0430-\u0432-\u0440\u043e\u0434\u0430-\u0438-\u043a\u0430\u043f\u0430\u043d\u044a\u0442-\u043d\u0430-\u043f\u0440\u0438\u044f\u0442\u0435\u043b\/","title":{"rendered":"Family hierarchy and the friendship trap"},"content":{"rendered":"
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author: Lilia Boneva<\/strong><\/em><\/div>\n
FB page: Blessed by the root<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/div>\n
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One of the biggest traps is friendship:<\/strong><\/div>\n
* between parents and children<\/div>\n
* between partners in marriage<\/div>\n
* between relatives<\/div>\n
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There is NO friendship in the genus - there is order and hierarchy<\/strong>. Friendship does not require responsibilities and is a completely different type of relationship.<\/strong><\/div>\n
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Each individual in the clan system is in its place and in relation to it is in a different hierarchical position to the others in the clan\/family. This place is not up for debate. One's position may change when a new member of the family or clan comes, but this change is only in an upward direction. For example, when a baby is born, the youngest child becomes the baby's father or grandfather, but remains the younger brother\/sister to the older children in the family.<\/div>\n
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Even when someone leaves the system for one reason or another - death or divorce, he has his place in the family. For example, if the daughter-in-law or son-in-law are divorced, even though they have already dissolved their marriage, the fact that they entered into a marriage\/relationship with a member of the family already makes them a part of it and they have their place of the first spouse \/a on edi -who are you. And it is proper to know and say this, because even if this person has another spouse after them, he or she will always be second.<\/div>\n
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It is a very common offense to keep this first marriage or relationship a secret, to speak in secret, hushed up for one reason or another. And this person has his place and should be acknowledged, always mentioned, remembered. Very often this is a woman who died in childbirth, who may have left an orphan to be raised by the father's second wife. Not talking about the life and death of the first wife (especially the reason for her death) does not reduce the pain of the loss, forgetting does not heal, but creates serious conditions for the descendants to tell about her fate through their lives. In such a situation, it is usually not the children of the deceased, but the stepmother who are loyal to their father's deceased first wife.<\/div>\n
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How is the friendship between parents and children affected?<\/strong><\/div>\n
Children, (even in adulthood) being friends with their parents, seriously quite imperceptibly cross the boundaries and violate the Law of Order and Hierarchy. What does this mean?<\/div>\n
When you are in friendships, they are non-committal. There is no order in friendship, there is no big - small, responsibility, care, respect.<\/div>\n
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Parents owe their children up to a certain age<\/strong><\/div>\n
* care (on a physical level, health, home, food, warmth, comfort);<\/div>\n
*education;<\/div>\n
*are responsible for their life, existence, survival;<\/div>\n
* safety;<\/div>\n
*educating them and taking their responsibility for life when they are already at the appropriate age of 19-20+.<\/div>\n
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Children respond with reverence, respect, appreciation and gratitude. They also show their gratitude when they, as parents, give to their children what they received from their mother and father. This is the healthy way for a child to thank his parents - by passing it on to his descendants (if he creates any).<\/div>\n
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When parents act like friends to their children, they are not fulfilling their responsibility as parents.<\/strong> Very often it happens that in some apparently "liberal" and "friendly" relations, the parent falls out of favor with his children and somehow even in a subordinate position:"Whatever the child says\/decides - only peace be there", "I listen and fulfill", "I don't interfere so that he\/she is happy"<\/em>. This is sweeping a serious problem under the rug.<\/div>\n
It is an escape from responsibility and an abdication of the place of a parent.<\/strong> This is a change of roles, in places:<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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* the parent becomes a child, and the child becomes a parent;<\/div>\n
* the bigger one is smaller, the smaller one is bigger.<\/div>\n
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When this happens systematically, and it does not happen suddenly, there are quite a few indications before that,<\/div>\n
usually the child distances, alienates and even denies the parent(s) and there is a complete breakdown in the relationship, usually quite dramatic.<\/div>\n
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When the child becomes the parent of his parent and takes, in fact, his place in the family - ancestral system<\/strong>, and that of his grandparents, it is an unbearable burden for him. And such a release is the loudest cry for help one can make. The reasons for such casts are different, but we first look for the main one in the family (usually in the childhood of the parent and\/or both parents) and track whether this is a pattern that repeats itself in the family, and accordingly we investigate the reasons for such a tendency, if there is one.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Very often, the accusatory attitude of the parent towards the child is an indicator of a problem with him\/herself.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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On the other hand, friendship between a man and a woman in a partnership relationship on the basis of marriage (whether or not there is an official marriage, which is a completely separate topic) is a trap that couples fall into very often.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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In a partnership, whether or not there are children, maintaining a balance between giving and receiving is a guarantee of a harmonious relationship<\/strong>. What does this mean? That each partner participates in this exchange on an equal footing. Partners are equal. There is no hierarchy in a relationship. There is a difference in the quality of giving and receiving because a woman gives one thing and a man another. They are different but equal. And when one gives, the other receives and in turn gives, i.e. returns. And in order to "spin the wheel" the return needs to be one more idea, so that there is a "turn" of this exchange. This happens in a harmonious partner relationship - commitment, participation, care, thought for the other, which is tantamount to responsibility<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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There is no such regularity in friendship and there is no requirement for responsibility and commitment. <\/strong>If we haven't heard from or seen each other in a few years, we don't hold them responsible for it, right? Respecting the order and hierarchy in the genus is vital to the balance of the system, dear people, and awareness of the importance and roles we occupy in our family and genus is a key point in genus therapy. Knowing the laws of the genus and researching about your genus is the most direct way to a fulfilling and happy life.<\/div>\n
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To know our lineage\u2014who lived before us, how they lived\u2014is to know ourselves.<\/strong> Because this history is written in our genes, in our blood, in ourselves<\/strong>. We are the walking history of our species, and very often we don't know it and we wonder why something happens to us or doesn't happen to us. We only have to learn to read this history, to know our ancestors and to be able to connect with them, because in this skill lie the answers that we seek - sometimes for a lifetime - and do not find anywhere else. Because those answers are within us. And the power is in us, and the blessing \u2013 from them, from our ancestors!<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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This is an excerpt from my lecture, "Daddy Wears, Mommy Touches."<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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If you want to hear her live in your city, give me a call.<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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My name is Lilia Boneva and I practice childbirth therapy according to the method of Aida Markovska<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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My reception is in Ruse and I also work online by appointment on phone 0877262756 and Viber.<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I firmly believe that in our roots lies the life force that we all need.<\/strong><\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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author: Lilia Boneva FB page: Blessed by the root One of the biggest traps is friendship: * between parents and children * between partners in marriage * between relatives There is NO friendship in the family - there is order and hierarchy. Friendship does not require responsibilities and is a completely different type of relationship. Every single individual in the lineage system is on\u2026 <\/p>\n

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