{"id":1756,"date":"2023-11-13T17:08:31","date_gmt":"2023-11-13T17:08:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/magicart-delta.com\/?p=1756"},"modified":"2023-12-15T18:38:12","modified_gmt":"2023-12-15T18:38:12","slug":"%d0%be%d0%b1%d0%b8%d1%87%d0%b0%d0%b8-%d0%bf%d1%80%d0%b5%d0%b4%d0%b8-%d1%81%d0%b2%d0%b0%d1%82%d0%b1%d0%b0%d1%82%d0%b0","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/magicart-delta.com\/en\/2023\/11\/13\/\u043e\u0431\u0438\u0447\u0430\u0438-\u043f\u0440\u0435\u0434\u0438-\u0441\u0432\u0430\u0442\u0431\u0430\u0442\u0430\/","title":{"rendered":"Customs before the wedding"},"content":{"rendered":"

From "Once upon a time - manners and worldview of the Bulgarians"<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

It was believed that when the young man sang carols and the young woman sang lazarus, they were ready to get married and start a family.<\/p>\n

Contrary to expectations, Bulgarian girls and bachelors had the freedom to see each other, to choose each other, to evaluate each other. People on holidays, gatherings, gatherings are all places where young people chose their life partner. Often two young people got along while celebrating someone else's wedding. Daily work activities also contributed to this - girls went to the water fountain and secretly hoped that some young man would "give them water to drink", that is, choose them. When working in the field, the most vocal and most skillful girl was the most preferred as a bride. And of course the tlaks and gatherings, where young girls showed their hard work and dexterity, their singing abilities and the ability to have pleasant and witty conversations. Young men used various signs to show which girl they liked. The most widespread was the grabbing of the maiden's wrist. The maiden could only accept his love or avoid it, being careful not to hurt or offend the young man.<\/p>\n

The Sedyanka \u2013 the beginning of a new family<\/a><\/p>\n

Young people get married \u201cwhen their luck allows\u201d, i.e. the young man gets married when he wants, and the young woman gets married when she wants. Their love begins when they like each other physically and spiritually. In order for the young woman to be chosen, she must possess a number of qualities, sung and described in folk songs: a flat body, a thin waist, a white face, blond hair, black eyes, a white throat, smart, gentle and hardworking. The young man chooses, but in order for his love to be accepted, he must be hardworking, braver than the others, strong, handsome and healthy. In addition, the two of them must be \u201clike-like as two stalks of primrose\u201d.<\/p>\n

Young people are free to evaluate and like each other, but they must ask their parents for consent and blessing for marriage. The girl's request from the boy is called matchmaking, matchmaking, asking, begging, begging, etc., but even more often the girl's request is marked with the name of the persons who are charged with fulfilling this duty: matchmakers, matchmakers, grooms, servants, pimps, etc.<\/p>\n

Young people had relative freedom in choosing a marriage partner, but there were also a number of rules or restrictions. Since everything depended on the family's livelihood and workforce, the age difference mattered. Usually the husband was 2 to 5 years older, but there were often cases when the bride was older. However, the choice did not rest solely on economic advantage. The girl usually brought a dowry, a cheiz, to her new family, and the boy's parents paid "father's right", i.e. they bought the girl from her father. But even if she did not bring a rich cheiz, her other qualities were much more important: the name and prestige of the family and whether the girl was hardworking, honest, beautiful - all things that influenced the choice. Usually, it was considered that both families were equal in property, and the young people were similar in appearance.<\/p>\n

The wedding and beyond<\/a><\/p>\n

Another restriction in choosing a marriage partner was the group of affiliation, i.e. the young people had to be from the same village or a group of villages. Marriage could not be concluded between blood relatives, up to 4-5 kinship, relatives by godfather, and sometimes relatives by fraternity. Sometimes, in the event of disagreement between relatives or other obstacles, the young people still had the opportunity to "get married", by coaxing or dragging. Most often, the two lovers would arrange it and the young man would steal his chosen one. However, this often forced the young people to leave the village. Since they did not have any property, they had to be someone else's workers for a while.<\/p>\n

Weddings are usually held in the fall and winter, when there is no fasting and no hard work in the fields. The request is also made during the wedding season and the bride goes to the house of the bride. At first, the visit is secret, because it is not known what the answer will be.<\/p>\n

If the girl is from another village or the boy's relatives do not know her and her family, spies are sent to secretly find out if she is suitable for their boy. Appointed people went to the wedding to watch the girl sing, how she behaves, whether she can knit, etc. If they like the girl, the matchmaking follows - the first real pre-wedding custom. It is also called begging, matchmaking. Honest and respected people are chosen as matchmakers. They must not be widowers, second-married, or have an odd number. The matchmakers leave the boy's house cheerfully and enter the girl's house cheerfully again. They immediately show that they are not ordinary guests, and the girl's relatives welcome them kindly. Usually, the guests give a sign of what they have come for by stoking the fire and saying a spell: \u201cAs the fire burns, so may the maiden burn for the young man\u201d or \u201cCome, let me grab the tongs, so that my word may be heard\u201d. A polite conversation follows, which is, however, short, because the guests get down to business. The special thing about this custom is that the matchmakers never directly state in words what they have come for, even though it is known. They do not say directly \u201cWe have come to ask for your maiden\u201d, but speak metaphorically. The lines are very different, but always carry the same meaning: \u201cWe have lost a heifer and have come to look for her\u201d or \u201cWe heard that a falcon has grown up in your house, we have come to catch her for our falcon\u201d\u2026 It is obligatory for the hosts to answer them with a metaphor, even if the answer is negative. No matter what the real reason for the refusal is, the answer most often points out that the girl is \u201cnot ready for marriage\u201d yet, because she is too young or the groom is not ready. But even if they agree, the girl\u2019s parents initially answer evasively, so that they have time to think, ask her, etc., but they extend an invitation for a second visit. This is a very clear sign that they agree, but for prestige they can turn the matchmakers away several times before they agree openly.<\/p>\n

During the last visit of the matchmakers, the parents must ask their daughter if she agrees to marry the young man. The young girl must answer clearly and at the same time emphasize that she rather fulfills the will of her parents. In this way, she demonstrates submission and obedience.<\/p>\n

After the agreement, the next day a small engagement, a covenant, a nishan, a zapiv is held, where, however, the boy is not present. His father brings a flower-decorated baklitsa with brandy or wine, and the mother prepares the nishan. The families exchange nishans, the girl, if she accepts the proposal, kisses her hand and at the end a toast is raised.<\/p>\n

Forgotten traditions during pregnancy and childbirth<\/a><\/p>\n

Next comes the big engagement, which is similar to the small one, but is more solemn and festive. People choose a holiday or Sunday for the engagement. The main elements present here are a green bracelet tied with a red thread, various coins and metal ornaments. The purpose of the engagement is not just a gathering, but also to agree on the details of the wedding: when it will be and where, how many people will be present, what gifts will be exchanged, how much the boy's father should pay for "father's rights" to the girl's parents. When the parties agree, the flutes and toasts begin. The guests at the engagement give each other towels, socks and other small gifts and put them on their right shoulder. A week, a month, and sometimes from one to three years pass between the engagement and the wedding.<\/p>\n

\u00a9 2023 Iliana Dechkova<\/em><\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From "Once upon a time - manners and worldview of the Bulgarians" It was believed that when the young man carols and the girl lazaroves, they are already ready for marriage and starting a family. Contrary to expectations, Bulgarian maidens and bachelors had the freedom to see each other, to choose each other, to appreciate each other. People on holidays, meetings, gatherings are... <\/p>\n

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