The translation profession can be very interesting. Especially when interpreting. I have such ridiculous and absurd incidents that I lose track of the details. You meet new people, there is always something new to learn, travel and explore the world. You are improving language and psychological skills… well, sweet job. The events and characters are quite real. Names are initialed for national security reasons… Ha ha, bullshit! It's just that the names are not important here, but the events. I don't know how many there were, I can't count to that many.

I haven't been to an interpreter recently, not of the type like in the stories. Banal things like going with a client to a bank, to a notary or to a doctor do not count. Look, it's interesting in the aftermath of First district. And they already know me there. However, every time we see K. or M 1 we remember at the same time how side by side we "saved the world", but instead of honor and respect, we received censure. And shall we meet with M.K. or G.K. we greet each other with a "long, white onion" and fondly remember Doña Cecilia and the long journey home.

I slightly open the door to the world of translation woes

Back in 2009 I worked in a factory in Suvorovo as a production organizer. Back then, I mostly translated for agencies. I had also registered on freelance sites. One day the phone rang, some inspector from Kavarna, he even introduced himself - an Italian citizen had been detained, he asked if I would cooperate. Naturally. I was later called by the detainee's attorney for details. We agreed to pick me up from the Central Post Office in Varna with a police car at 5 p.m. Nothing suspicious so far. Towards the end of the day, the lawyer calls and so by the way casually throws in" "How about you buy some vouchers there that my client has not spoken to his relatives, for about 20 minutes of conversation". At the first moment, I did not doubt because I would take the vouchers to the place and they would pay me for them. But still something stuck me. I shared with colleagues in the office and they all unanimously decided that these are phone scammers. I hung my nose. I so wished it was a real order. On the way from Suvorovo to Varna, my colleagues completely dissuaded me. To run into some suspicious strangers… who would be uniformed law enforcement officers, however, in a special car… !? It was strange. I called the lawyer, he spoke in a whisper, I could barely hear him. His mother was in bed, they were waiting for her, he could not speak. And just a few hours ago we were talking to each other. I hung up and called the inspector, who called me first. I summarize the situation in a summary and say:

part 2 – And the river of absurdities flowed

• I'm sorry, but I can't buy vouchers because for a 20 min call it's a lot of money. I don't carry that much cash, and I don't have a bank card with me.

She went crazy. He started shouting, swearing... Sure. I interrupted him by asking:

• Sir, what exactly do you need? Translator or vouchers?
• I need vouchers, he barked into the receiver.
• Well, if you need them, go buy them - I yelled at him and hung up.

part 3 - Balkan witches save the world from an alien invasion

I kept his number, I even filed a complaint with the police and wanted to help catch them. But the police started grumbling to me - there was no way, it was dangerous, he had already changed his number... Disgusted and angry, I left. It's been about a month somewhere. The children and I traveled to Novi Pazar to collect my son's prize money from the national accordion competition and to see relatives. I just sat down for coffee with my cousin and the phone rings. That number! At first I was numb. But I picked up, as if I were talking to a stranger. And I almost died laughing. The same guy, the rogue inspector tells me the same tearful story: they need a translator for Kavarna, Italian, his brother was a big deal, owner of a soccer team… blah blah. At one point I interrupt him with a question:

part 4 – Home, dear home

• So you need a translator, right? – I ask and can barely stop myself from grinning.
• Yes - he answers slightly nervously.
• Do you need vouchers? – I stab him and start laughing hysterically.

A mighty swearing ensued, the details of which I shall omit. I hung up on him. And when I texted him… “You're very simple. And you don't become a fraud. You didn't even remember to note that you already called me? "... and all in that spirit. They didn't bother me anymore.

part 5 - By ear, on paper or by ear - you translate according to the circumstances

And since then, as the river of absurdities flowed, until today.

© 2024 Iliana Dechkova