This reading is NOT intended to provoke political debates, conspiracy theories, to give an assessment in the style of "who is wrong - who is right", nor to demonstrate a manifestation of disrespect to General Mutafchiiski.

Let's laugh, let's have fun... and to remember. And then everyone learns a lesson for himself.

The texts and photos are from the Internet, mainly Facebook - collected, arranged and edited by me. They are works with an unknown or unspecified (anonymous) author. According to "Small Interpretive Dictionary of the Bulgarian Language", Stoyan Burov and Penka Pehlivanova, 1998 edition, aphorisms and epigrams in the form of texts and pictures can be categorized as modern Bulgarian folklore and in the sense of Art. 4 item 3 and art. 6 para. 1 of the ZAPSP are not subject to copyright as far as primary sources are concerned.

In times of crisis, no matter how dire the situation, man has one quality that helps him survive. Nevertheless. And that's the laugh. Despite the fear, despite the difficulties, people find the strength to summarize the situation and express their emotions in songs, poems, pictures. This is how folk folklore was born.

C I T A T I

• Day 17 of Quarantine: Of all the fridge magnets, I'm the biggest.
• Online parent: it was easier for me to give birth to this child than to register him on all the distance learning platforms.
• Those who wear masks alone in the car, what do they protect themselves from? Don't cough up the steam?
• Summer 2020, somewhere along the Black Sea, the lifeguard calls out: "Let the next two come in!"
• At the bank: Sir, on what grounds are you withdrawing BGN 10,000? - I want to take my boyfriend for a walk in the Sea /when in Varna they fined 5 to 10 thousand BGN because people went for a walk in the park despite the ban/.
• There may be no Easter this year, but it already smells like April Fools' Day.
• To go out, we will now send SMS. To walk a dog: baw-baw. For a supermarket: um-um. For a doctor: oh, oh (when the Headquarters were considering letting people send their SMS if they wanted to go out).
• If we run out of SMS-sa for a walk, will they put a brace on us? (when they considered letting people text if they wanted out)
• The cases of those fined BGN 5,000 each became more than the number of people infected with the corona virus.
• The doorbell rings. I open. In front of me stands a "Thing" in a suit that looks like it came out of a nuclear lab. “Hello, I am your daughter's teacher. I don't have internet and I came to check my homework”.
• I wonder how the six-armed goddess Shiva disinfects herself…
• The dogs are in shock! All the people are muzzled.
• A note on a shop window: "Open the door with your elbows or your fat m@z." Be a man! Save a life!”
• Mona (yes not iz) Lisa.
• A day (I can't count) in quarantine. Conversation between spouses:
  • Where are you?
  • In the kitchen.
  • Do you want to meet in a little while in the living room and have coffee?
  • Great. Ring when you're in the hallway.
• Permission: “I drop my husband to the store. It is valid until 15 minutes after its release. To serve before the law enforcement authorities".
• I post a status on FB: "I'm going to the mall to buy Dolce&Gabbana." I get a comment from the General: "You go to the living room to use the chair & sofa".
• Many men now have to have sex with their own wives.
• April Fool's joke in 2020: "I announce the end of quarantine".
• - Good day. Jean-Claude Van Damme is on the phone. – Did I say not to gather in groups! – answers the General
• – Will there be balls? - the students ask - There will be. A masked ball - answers the General
• Summer is coming and I'm funny about the mosquitoes: they'll be wondering where we are.
• - Horror! I'm getting wrinkles! - How do they get out? – asks the General
• – I'm getting cold sores from stress! - Don't go out! – said the General
• - I'm giving birth, doctor! It's coming out! - Don't go out! – said the General
• - General, can we have sex during quarantine? - Yes, but only one - replies the General
• Jovana from the song will not come because she is under quarantine in Bansko (the folk song "Jovano, Jovanke")
• - I can't get the balance - accountant during monthly closing. - Correct! He shouldn't go out - replies the General.
• - It's passing, the big ship is passing. - Don't let it pass! – orders the General
• Inscription on the door of a GP's office: "Patients with influenza, acute respiratory diseases, etc., including coughs and runny noses, are attended to after recovery."
• I see a wallet full of money on the sidewalk. I passed him. Do I know who touched it?
• I worry about the new rappers: now how are they going to grow up on the street?
• – Honey, your phone is ringing. It says COVID-19. "Pick up, honey." It's your mother.
• Poor Prince Charles, he's been waiting for the crown all his life. And when she came, she was the wrong one (After the death of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II, on 8 September 2022, he became King and was officially proclaimed as such on 10 September 2022).
• The mask should also be worn at home to eat less.
• - I am going to the toilet. - You don't go without a declaration! – orders the General
• "It hurts, and I hate my hands!" Because I hugged another person with them!" - original text of a song by Kuku Band performed by Georgi Milchev - Goji - Pandemic version: "It hurts, and I wash my hands." - sings Goji - "Because you touched another person with them" - sings The general
• She: Come to us, I'm bored. He: I can't, I'm under quarantine. She: Come on, ours are gone. The General: Where are they? Did they come out with a declaration?
• - We will meet again in 10 years (FSB song) - I like you that way - replies the General
• – I am a willing butterfly... (song by folk singer Kathy) - No longer! – snapped the General
• - I don't need many friends, two or three are enough for me (song by Georgi Hristov)- No! You are many! - scolds the General
• Who raised the flag? Tell him to start sewing masks.
• When you sneeze and want to be told a three-digit number... 112
• - Maid Dena has left for cold water (folk song) – If she is a girl from 8:30 to 10:30 she can't - said the General
• – When will the operas and theaters open? I want to sing! - complains an opera singer - You will sing like normal people, in the shower. said the General
• - I'm young, I want to live (line from the movie "An Orchestra With No Name"). - Live your life, but at home! – said the General
• - To return to the father's house (quote from a poem by D. Debelyanov") - Only if you are registered there at your current address - ordered the General
• – My electricity bill came out! - She can go out - the General smirks
• - I got the decision in the case! - To go home immediately. - scolds the General
• - Let's go to Primorsko, let's go to Burgas! (song by Orhan Murad) - Nothing, father, stay at home. - added the General
• - Mile Popyordanov is sick! (folk song) - Exactly. To lie at home, to call the personal doctor and not to jam the hospitals - the General is satisfied
• – The telephone always connects us, the telephone divides us! This love of ours is a bit sad, isn't it? (sung by Vasil Naydenov) - It is sad, but in conditions of an epidemic it is very effective - the General joined in
• - Do two go a long way! (song by Maria Neikova) - They should go home immediately. – snapped the General angrily
• - You chicks come to daddy! (song by Milko Kalaidzhiev) - It can not! They are under quarantine - the General orders
• – Frodo, we are going on the greatest adventure! (line from Lord of the Rings)- You are not leaving! – forbids the General
• – Spring has sprung, we haven't! (song by Slavi Trifonov) - It's too early to say - doubts the General
• – Everything comes out on the polygraph! - Let nothing come out - orders the General
• - Where should my soul run?! (from a song by Azis)- Straight home - replies the General
• - Is he coming? (story by Ivan Vazov) - Don't come! – orders the General
• – Better alone than in the wrong company. - Correct - the General is satisfied
• – General, why don't you have hair? - Because I don't let her out.

High, blue mountains,

rivers and golden plains,

a sky softer than silk…

But you are under quarantine.

… to be continued