Every action in our lives has a reason. People generally do not act randomly. Even if we do not understand the reason, it has a driving force and affects all areas of our lives – our finances, our relationships with people, our body and our brain. This force is called pain and pleasure.
Everything we do is driven by a desire to avoid pain or to get pleasure. And when we talk about causes, often people try to change their lives, but they fail to do so. They feel pressured, angry, but they never force themselves to take action. This happens because they try to change their behavior, which is a consequence. When in fact they should focus on the cause of this behavior.
Another characteristic of most people is procrastination.
We put off a diet, delay starting a new business, or simply don't call the person we want to call. We know we should do something, but we don't. Simply because we subconsciously believe that if we take action now, we will cause ourselves more pain than if we postpone it. And when this procrastination and not taking action starts to cause more pain, we just do it. Practically, the one who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than he needs to.
See also: Are we sabotaging ourselves?
Postponing important actions is due to the fact that the fear of losing something is many times stronger than the desire for success.
That's why many people don't dare to take risks. They prefer to keep what they have rather than risk having what they really want. The transition from pain to pleasure occurs when we have reached our threshold of tolerance. When a person can no longer bear suffering, pain becomes a friend and pushes us to actions that will bring us pleasure. What we associate the two concepts with is also of great importance.
If we experience suffering from something, it is due to our assessment of it, not the thing itself. Take alcohol as an example. For some people, it is a means of relaxation or even escape from painful reality. And drinking alcohol is a pleasure for them. For others, it is the opposite. If a person grew up with an aggressive alcoholic father, drinking it will only bring back painful memories of aggression and shame. This applies to everything in life. Whether it is marriage, cigarettes, or food, it is not they that bring us suffering or satisfaction.
The feelings we experience are caused by our personal attitude
And we can easily change it. The secret of success is to learn to use pain and pleasure, and not have them use us. Only in this way will we manage our own lives. Otherwise, they manage us. To have control over our own lives, we must realize the following: our decisions are guided not by the pain or pleasure itself, but by our perception of them.
When we seek to avoid pain, we don't realize that we are actually only bringing ourselves pleasure in the short term. Which in turn leads to suffering in the longer term. To change this pattern, we need to program our minds in the following way: pain now will bring us long-term pleasure tomorrow.
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