We need to have a clear signal of what causes us pain and what pleasure. Because otherwise the brain gets overloaded and confused. Every time we experience intense pain or pleasure, the brain looks for the cause. In this case, it is not enough to have a good mind, we must also be able to use it.
People don't just seek pleasure, but rather they run away from pain.
But in order to change something, the pain has to become very strong. When we reach the limit, we choose what we think is the least painful. The bad thing is if we allow the pain to completely take over us. Then we fall into learned helplessness.
Because when a pattern of emotions and behavior is consistently reinforced, it becomes an automatic response. Depending on whether the pattern is good or bad, it influences our lives for better or worse.
Rewards should be distributed in a way that makes the change permanent. The most important thing is to reward the desired behavior immediately.
See more: What guides us in this life?
Any pattern of emotional behavior that is regularly rewarded becomes a conditioned reflex. Conversely, any pattern that is not rewarded gradually disappears.
Let's change the way we feel.
We want results. We believe that these results are the means by which we achieve certain feelings and emotions that we want. Our behavior is not a consequence of our abilities, but of the state in which we are at the moment.
The body guides our emotions. And our emotional state influences the body. And a vicious circle results.
The ability to change the way we feel depends on our ability to change our submodality.
Important components of change are the questions we ask ourselves and the vocabulary we have. If we ask terrible questions, we will get terrible answers. We have to learn to ask the right questions.
Questions change three goals. They change the direction of attention, and from there the way we feel.
Instead of "Why do I feel depressed?", it's better to change the question to "How can we change so that we are better?"".
We can change the way we feel if we change the direction of our attention.
But at some point we have to stop asking questions and just move on. We just have to decide what is best for us at that moment and act.
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© 2025 Iliana Dechkova
