The word "No" initiates negotiations
Human emotions have two levels. The first is what others see because that is how we present it to them. The second is the hidden one, which actually influences our behavior. A good negotiator aims to unravel precisely these hidden emotions. When you qualify a negative emotion, you weaken the power and it can completely disappear. If you qualify a positive one, you confirm it. In general, by giving qualifications, you can easily diffuse the tension and make the person opposite you aware of their own feelings. And this will lead to a rethinking of his behavior. In practice, the best way to deal with negativity is to observe it. But without reacting and without judging her. Then consciously and purposefully qualify it, clothe it in words. Replace any negative feeling with positive, compassionate and constructive thoughts.
Everything in this world comes down to the deep human need to express free will. People want to feel that they are in control of their own choices. So respect that and allow them to say no to your ideas. This does not mean at all that they will not accept them in the end. By allowing them to express their will, you automatically let their guard down. They see that you are listening to them, they calm down and become more receptive. Respecting a person's right to say 'does not break down all barriers and contributes to fruitful communication. But even more irritating than someone not taking your "no" is ignoring you altogether. If your opponent is stubborn, stop insisting on getting the cherished "Yes". So simply cycles in one place. The opponent is always on the alert and there is no prospect of success. Let the other person say no. This very often means "wait" or "I'm not sure" rather than an outright rejection of your point. You even need to provoke your opponent to say "no" at the beginning. When he states what he doesn't want, he sets his boundaries and becomes more confident and willing to listen to you.
“That's right - YES. "You're right" - NO
Most people make the mistake of being happy when they hear from their opponent "you're right". In practice, the winning strategy in all negotiations is the expression "exactly so". When someone is bothering you, tell them you are right and they will leave satisfied and happy. But that doesn't mean he agrees at all. Exactly the opposite. This line will not lead to an understanding with the opponent. You need to convince the other party that you understand them. Only in this way will you be able to influence the attitudes and behavior of the opponent. Use a generalization technique to get the other person to tell you "that's right." To make a quality summary, you need to be able to qualify and paraphrase well.
But don't compromise. Ultimately, the goal is to get everything without giving anything in return. Sometimes the search for a solution that will satisfy everyone can be disastrous. For everyone. Because the compromise approach does not satisfy either side. If you try to compromise an opponent whose only goal is for him to win, you can easily be outplayed. In important negotiations, compromise is almost always a bad deal.
The third dimension that plays an important role in negotiations is time. Don't let your opponent put deadlines on you. Thus, you become anxious and tend to make hasty decisions in order not to make a mistake. And you will lose the opportunity to negotiate better terms. If you let time pressure you, you only become hostage to the conflict. In order to get a feel for how long negotiations will take, you need to truly engage in the negotiation process. So don't let them set deadlines for you, nor set a time for yourself to finish.
Justice and perspective
It is the strongest word in negotiations. People are extremely influenced by whether they are respected by others. And they tend to conform and agree with those who treat them fairly. Social injustice produces neural activity in the part of the brain responsible for emotions. And turbulent emotions interfere with good decisions. So make your opponents believe that you are an honest player. Thus, your reputation will precede you and open the door to success.
Decision making is generally irrational and emotional. Of great importance in making a decision is what perspective it gives. What do we gain and what do we lose? And to what extent the fear of loss influences the decision. The moment of perspective plays a big role in negotiations related to business and money. In business negotiations, never talk only about money. Try to offer the other person additional things. They may not be important to you, but they may be valuable to him. If you offer a low salary, you can compensate with suitable working hours or additional bonuses and holidays. Another trick for successful negotiations is to use mostly odd numbers. And this is not about your favorite, which brings you luck. It's just that some numbers carry more weight than others. And forget the zero at all. It gives a sense of something transitory and uncertain.
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The success of a good negotiation depends on proper communication. Whether you're negotiating a business deal or chatting with the butcher, you're creating an empathetic connection with the other person.And when you encourage them to share their concerns, you're laying the foundations for healthy human relationships. Negotiate as if you and the opponent are on the same team. Because the goal is not to excel in intellect or strength. Your goal is to convince the other person that the solution you are aiming for is actually their idea.
Mastering this mechanism and putting it into practice is of great importance for successfully mastering all negotiation skills. The ability to get into the other person's mind and ultimately under their skin depends on the negotiator's approach. Whoever is willing to change his approach to the new emerging evidence will bring the negotiations to a successful conclusion for himself.
© 2023 Iliana Dechkova